surgery

Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see Accountants on my operating table…

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CURTAIN RODS — PRICELESS

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect…

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The Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, Trying to decide who was the one in charge. ‘I should be in charge,’ said…

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HEART SURGEON’S FUNERAL

One of the city’s top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made…

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Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches…

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ROSES & HANGING BASKETS

A teenage granddaughter Comes downstairs for her date With this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, Telling her not…

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CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, ‘HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY IT’S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.’…

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scousers

The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. This announcement followed Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of the British government’s ‘Work for the…

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3 MEN ON A HIKE

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, The first…

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Eric

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to…

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Murder at Woolworths

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance…

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Praying for Leroy

“Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar,” the Preacher says. Leroy gets in line, and when it’s…

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Revenge

There was a 10 year old boy walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened > frog on a string behind him. > > He walked…

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Why I fired my Secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would…

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Charlie is in room 233

Charlie gets home late one night and, Kitty, his wife says, ‘Where in the hell have you been?’ Charlie replies, ‘I was out getting a…

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Never lie to your mother

Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn’t help but notice how lovely Peter’s flat mate, Joanne, was….

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Blonde goes to Heaven

A blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. ‘I’m sorry,’ St Peter…

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